we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
