I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Little spoons don't ask big questions
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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