Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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