the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
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