My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He shit in the fireplace
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
