So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
