Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
