I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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