i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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