He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize