I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
