Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Can I color on your dick again?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
