Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
