I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
