I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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