we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
