East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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