How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
