so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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