some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
