i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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