just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize