just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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