you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Boobs speak an international language.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
