Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
