just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Randomize
