i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
