Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
