I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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