But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
