I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
