I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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