Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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