So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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