yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
