waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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