I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Randomize
