Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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