I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
it's like iHOP with fire
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
