OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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