Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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