Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
