Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
