He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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