I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
