i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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