Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
