Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
