She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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