i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize