He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
