I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Randomize