Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
