how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
