I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
