I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
